the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
