Porn is love you can see.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize