We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
