you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
