You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I will pee on everything he values.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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