Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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