just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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