i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
