Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
