Hey man sorry I got all grabby
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
