So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize