I like my sex mixed with concussions.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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