I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
