nut hugger
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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