i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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