i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
i've created a new STD.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
