in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
