I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
