literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
