So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
