member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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