Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
