She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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