My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
