I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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