Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
