new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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