i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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