I love black thongs
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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