You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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