i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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