Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
