If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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