so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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