Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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