The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
