Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
