What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
