You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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