These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
