just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize