Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
