This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
