Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
