she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
