I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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