I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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