O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
