i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
