i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
