So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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