I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
