you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
