My first STD was from a foam party
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
