no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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