did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
