Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i barfeds in our rink
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
