Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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