I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
