I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it's not cheating when I paid for it
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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