Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize